Saturday, August 28, 2010

She knows....

In the three years since Mel and I have (successfully?) "adjusted" to having each other as roommates, I've found that we both have a rather keen sense on reading people and situations.
However, I confess that when it comes to ex-boyfriends I may have no skill whatsoever in reading a person.  I am, sadly, easily wooed by someone simply laughing at my jokes, smiling at me, and looking deeply into my eyes. Worse, I may be easily wooed by someone who does not laugh at my jokes, does not smile at me, and does not look deeply into my eyes.
In other words, I'm a total sucker.  Anyone familiar with my love life will vouch.
Mel on the other hand, has an knack for letting me know when she doesn't like someone.
Well, Mel doesn't really like ANYONE, but there are particular people she really doesn't like.
Sometimes she's wrong (she hissed at my grandma which was very rude and very much hurt Gram's and I's feelings).
But on some occasions - it's just too damn obvious to misread.
She peed in a recent, ex-boyfriend's suitcase, long long ago.  I should have read into that sign then.
Though I couldn't stop laughing at the time, I don't think he thought it was very funny and Mel just sat in perfect Mel fashion - "thwack, thwack" with her tail, glaring at him as if to say, "get the hell out of my house."  And looking at me, no doubt, wondering if she had made her point.
She would also refuse to let him walk into the house, get into the bed, sit on the couch, walk into the kitchen, drink anything in the living room without knocking it over onto my floor (causing my anger to be at him, not her of course), pet her, or take a shower without trying to jump in with him and attack.  A flurry of yelps and cursing would ensue behind the shower curtain, which was usually moving in such a fashion that one could tell something very violent was happening behind there.  There were occasions in which I wondered if the "I cut myself with the razor" line was a macho excuse, that the bleeding was from Mel's talons.  She would also give him the look of death from across the room, and if gamma rays could come out of her eyes, he would be a pile of ash.  Part of me regrets that gamma rays don't actually come out of her eyes.
Recent ex-boyfriend turned out to be a real douchebag and I wonder now why I didn't end it when she pissed in his suitcase and sat there looking simply at me as if to say, "Do you understand?."
Mel always knows best.

1 comment:

  1. Cue the "Psycho" music with the Shower. lol!!!

    ReplyDelete