There are few things that Mel loves more than a nice long computer cord to wrap herself up in and chew on, or Chinese food.
About once a week I order takeout and while Mel won't touch any type of canned cat food, cat treats, organic salmon strips, seasoned organic salmon strips, or tuna (I've probably lost $100 experimenting with treats for her), she loves her some Chinese food, especially sauces. Unfortunately Mel's digestive system isn't built to digest whatever they put in Chinese food sauce (then again, are any of us?) and this inevitably ends up with her farting on my pillow all night long.
Tonight I tried a new Chinese food place. I came home and set up the containers all over my living room coffee table and scooped from each container onto the plate. When I order Chinese food I generally get 3-5 different things and continue to eat them for the next week. Variety is the spice of life. At my normal Chinese place they know me, and my order, and when he makes my delivery, the gentleman always teases me:
"All fow yoo?"
"Yes it is!"
Giggle, giggle - "You ssshould weigh fow hundwed pounds!"
I briefly went to the kitchen for a moment to get a drink and came back to find Mel's face in my plate of Chinese food.
What's really annoying is she just licks at it. She doesn't even consume it.
So I debate. How long has she been licking my egg foo yung? They say a dog's mouth is cleaner than a person's mouth. Is that true for cats? I'd really rather not throw out my entire plate of food because it has a little cat spit in it. She won't actually eat it, so the rest of it just goes to waste. I wonder how long ago she last licked her crotch?
I decided to cut around the middle section of the egg foo yung where she had licked, making the letter O in my food.
Her highness had now positioned herself behind me. When this happens, I become very nervous. When this happens, she is usually about to attack my elbow with her teeth, jump on my head or fly from behind me onto the coffee table in front of the couch knocking off everything in her way. Out of sheer terror for what's about to happen, I usually just freeze and hope that it's over soon. Well because I wanted to protect my food, I turned around just enough, and sure enough she went flying past me, onto the coffee table and sent soy sauce-y chopsticks flying across the living room and onto my white carpet. She then proceeded to chase after them, sniff them, and lick them, holding them in between her paws as though they were prey. Afterwards she thoroughly cleaned herself and sat looking at me with an incredulous look of "geez didn't your mother teach you to share?"
She's now curled up at my feet and her indigestion has apparently already begun. Thank you Mel. You're a real treat.